Teaseproof?

So it’s been awhile. I have lots I want to write about; maybe I’ll start adding it all a little at a time…then again, maybe not. But I have to write about this incident.

I was coming out of the mother’s room at church yesterday with Ava just as Ella and Dave came around the corner. I could tell Ella had been crying. I could also tell she was trying so hard not to cry, but as soon as she saw me she ran into my arms and burst into tears. There was noone in the mother’s room so we went back in there and sat down for a few minutes. She curled up into my lap and buried her head in my neck and just let it out. She was trying to tell me what happened but just couldn’t get the words out. After several minutes I got that she was messing around in primary and fell backwards out of her chair and hurt her neck (I think that was correct anyways.) Her neck was red and scratched a little but she got over that pretty quickly. However she was begging, “Mom, please take me home. I don’t want to be here anymore.” Through her tears she was finally able to express that she was just too embarrassed to go back to class. My heart ached for her; don’t we all know what it’s like to get embarrassed and want to run and hide? We talked for a few minutes about why we couldn’t leave but she was still insisting. So I changed the subject to give her a few minutes to calm down and give me a couple of minutes to figure out how to handle this. Luckily, I had snacks in my bag and she was delighted to have one so we had a little snack and talked some more. What should I do? Should I take her into relief society with me so she doesn’t have to face her class? Maybe I should go back to her class with her and stay with her for a few minutes until she realizes she’s okay. I wasn’t satisfied with either of these solutions though. Then I remembered this article I read a long time ago about tease-proofing our kids. I don’t remember where I read it, or even what some of the suggestions were from it. But I thought the reason Ella doesn’t want to go back to class is because she’s worried someone is going to make fun of her. How can I help her? Suddenly I had an idea. So we started talking about going back to class again and she got upset about it again. I think she was starting to think she had found an out! So we talked about being embarrassed. Here’s how part of this conversation went:

Me: I’m sure your friends are probably worried about you and want to make sure that you are okay.
Ella: No, they’re going to make fun of me.
Me: I’m sure they won’t Ella. But if they do, do you know what you can do? (She’s looking at me pretty inquisitive. So at this point I gave a look and rolled my eyes and said “whatever.”)
Ella: (a small smile shining through) What?!
Me: Yeah, if anyone makes fun of you just say “whatever,” give them this look and roll your eyes at them (and I gave “the look” again).

I did it a few more times for her and then asked her to try it. She did and it was just as I would have imagined her doing it (probably because I've seen her roll those eyes numerous other times). And then we practiced in the mirror a couple of more times. So I gave her a big hug, told her I loved her and walked her back to the primary room. She practiced one more time before going back in and then confidently walked back in and sat in her chair. She was fine.

After church was over I asked how it went and if she had to use "the face." Of course she didn't. But she was prepared if she needed to!

So is that terrible?! No I don’t want my kid to be a punk or have some huge attitude but I also want her to be able to stand up for herself and more importantly learn to not let other people intimidate her because of silly little mistakes. I went on to relief society laughing inside at her “whatever” face. I told Dave about it later and he warned me to be ready when she uses that on me. I didn’t think about that! I guess we’ll see! So do you have any other suggestions? What would you have done in this situation?!

One quick Ella-ism that has had me smiling…as we were watching fireworks on the 4th, she very seriously and with a look of concern on her face said, “I hope the fireworks don’t burn Heavenly Father and Jesus.” I hope they don’t either ~ those fireworks do go up pretty high you know!