Yesterday was a sad day for me. It actually started on Saturday afternoon when a member of the Stake Presidency visited us in our home. He released Dave from his Ward Clerk call and spent some time visiting with us and counseling us. We knew there would be some changes to ward boundaries and that we were no longer in the Lewisville 2nd Ward. I was sad. I was sad that evening and cried to my husband about it. And I was sad at church the next morning knowing I couldn't say anything to anyone, and was on the verge of tears throughout the block of meetings. And I was sad after church as I had the afternoon to ponder it. I had my own little pity party that afternoon but then decided that I would go to the special meeting with a good attitude and not let this effect me so. That didn't happen. Knowing what was following, I fell apart during the opening song. And I never got it back together. Seriously. I must have looked so silly. Some may have found it a little ridiculous or thought that I was being immature. And yes, I was embarrassed. I typically try to hide that kind of emotion, especially in front of large groups of people. I wasn't loud, I wasn't vocal, I'm pretty sure I didn't cause a scene....I just couldn't fight the tears. No words comforted me. I appreciated the testimonies and was excited when I heard our new Bishop's testimony. And I too have a testimony that this is the Lord's desire and for whatever reason this is where we need to be now. But I'm still sad. Not because I don't get to be with my closest friends anymore. We're friends and we will still see each other and get together often. I don't worry about that. I am sad for other reasons, and I'm only actually going to name a few =) ....
Lewisville 2nd Ward is special. It's hard to explain, to put into words. But it is special; just ask anyone that's moved out! It's a great ward. And in the last year I have grown to love it more than I ever thought I could. And never before have I relied so heavily on a ward for the support that I have felt, especially over the last year. This ward has been there for me and my family through miscarriages, surgeries, unemployment, family deaths, and other trials. We have been blessed with the most amazing visiting and home teachers. I simply cannot express how much I love them. I think of the times we have sat in our Bishop's office and he has counseled with us and brought peace to us. I think of the way R.S. has personally touched my life and the two r.s. presidents who have been so kind and compassionate. There is a strong sisterhood there. I have felt it many times, over and over. I have grown to love the ward members and appreciate what each individual brings to our ward. Often times through my trials, when I pray looking for guidance, the answer I receive is to serve. It's SOOO true that we learn to love through service. I have been amazed serving as compassionate service leader to see how much is really done. And I know much more happens than I am even aware of. I am even sad to see my husband released from his calling. He has enjoyed it, he has developed some great friendships through it, and I have seen so much growth in him. And I have learned so much from him through his example. He has been so diligent and I know that he too will miss serving with the men he served with. I'm sad for my Ella girl. She has loved having her aunt as her primary teacher. This has been an exciting and happy primary year for her. I'm sad that she doesn't understand as much and will be seperated from kids she has gone to church with since she was a baby.
I know, I know...I can have all of this in another ward. But that doesn't make it easy and I'm still sad! It takes time. And for me, it's going to take patience. I woke up this morning feeling more hopeful about this change and know that over time things will get better. I am grateful for having "grown up" in the Lewisville 2nd Ward. And I look forward to growing up more in the Coppell 1st Ward. I am confident that my Heavenly Father knows how I feel right now and that He has something in store for me and my family - perhaps even a move over the boundary lines! Just kidding...for now anyways!
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5 comments:
Oh Holly - I love you and am also very thankful for the time that we have had to "serve" together although I feel that I've been on the receiving end of your service countless times. Change is bittersweet but I know you'll handle it like a pro!
Holly! I'm so sad for you and us. I told Russ that everyone should be allowed to murmur and get it out, then move on, and have a good attitude. We'll have to just expand our girls nights to include your new friends. Maybe now, you can be the librarian :)
Holly, I know how you feel, I've been in the same boat before! It took a long time after moving to Texas to be comfortable at church again. Just know we LOVE you immensley and will always be there for you! It's just an imaginary line, right??? I admire the confident attitude you have!
LV2 is a very special ward. I feel the same way you do. At least we still have our friendships. It's ok to be sad - that doesn't mean you don't have faith in our leaders. It takes time to transition. But you are such a fabulous woman and have much to share with Coppell 1st. See you at church =)
It was a privilege to have you as our compassionate service leader. You're right, we find love by serving! You have so much love to offer! The sisters in your new ward are blessed to have you and your many talents!
You are missed!
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